Bush Reads!

His manner of reading a speech leaves the distinct impression that he doesn't understand a word of what he's reading.

Herewith my take on the Presidential Address: it was a total crock. The sentiments were nice, but they were phony. We have no intention of turning over genuine sovereignty on June 30, 2004. As for the Deserter's claim that the occupation is over on June 30, 2004 merely because an Iraqi government is established, it's ridiculous. Show me a single history book, scholarly account or press account that refers to the occupation of Japan ending in 1946 with the establishment of a new Japanese government. You won't find one. The occupation ended in Japan in 1952, when we signed treaties with Japan that provided a legal basis for the contention that our troops remained in Japan at the sufferance of the Japanese government.

Conspicuously, the draft U.N. resolution recently submitted to the security council members by the U.S. makes no mention of our commitment to withdraw troops from Iraq if requested by the new Iraqi government, despite recent assurances from Powell and Bremer that we would do just that.

The true objective of the Deserter's administration is not democracy in Iraq, but the installation of a U.S. puppet government. We could have had elections in Iraq months ago, as the Adminisration proposed at one point last year, but the Administration backed off when it became apparent that the political vacuum assumed to exist in Iraq (a necessary precondition to the foisting of Chalabi upon the Iraqi electorate) did not in fact exist - the vaccum had been occupied by Sistani and the Shiites. When it became clear to the neocons that Chalabi couldn't win an election we tragically postponed elections, for the avowed reason that "Iraq wasn't ready yet." The first elections in post-war Japan were held on April 10, 1946, less than 8 months after MacArthur arrived in Japan to oversee the occupation, despite the fact that the necessary societal and institutional underpinnings of democracy were more damaged in the aftermath of WWII than in Iraq today.

The clearest indication that the Deserter had no real interest in a pluralistic, democratic Iraq came when the Administration cavalierly announced at one point last year that elections would be accelerated even though a draft constitution would not yet be available. This step was taken to assuage concerns about the burgeoning insurgency and the difficulties encountered in the drafting of the Iraqi constitution and, not inconsequentially, to provide some political cover to the Deserter. Holding elections in Iraq prior to drafting of the new Iraqi constitution (and worse, as a means of distracting attention from the difficulties encountered in finding a consensus in Iraq for a draft constitution) stands democratic nation-building precepts on their head, a fact that seemed not to concern the Bush Administration in the least. The ABCs of adopting a constitution were explained to the Deserter by an unnamed White House staffer in a meeting among the Deserter, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Bremer last year, a partial transcript of which follows:

Bremer: The council isn't making much progress on a constitution. The Shiite clerics have the council stymied.

Rumsfeld: Screw the constitution. Let's just go ahead and have the elections. If we don't like the result, we can always claim the election was corrupted by Baathists.

President: I agree that...I mean, I think it makes sense...right Don?

Vice-President: Democracy will reign in Iraq whenever we say it does.

Staffer: The benefits of expedited elections would certainly be a P.R. coup, but we don't want to forget that we want a constitutional democracy in Iraq.

(Cheney and Rumsfeld roll their eyes, astounded that anyone takes this "democracy in Iraq" thing seriously)

President (dicing his pretzel): That's right. Democracy. The Iraqinanian people want to have a consti...constitu... a democracy, they're a democracy loving people, they...

Staffer: Well, I don't want to suggest that expedited elections are not a good thing, given the circumstances, but it complicates the adoption of a constitution.

Rumsfeld: Nonsense. We need an elected body to ratify the constitution anyway. We'll have elections, then we'll draft the constitution and ratify it. I mean, the Iraqis will do it.

Vice-President: Complicate? How?

Staffer: Well, typically you have a constitution drafted, or propogated as they say, prior to the establishment of an elected body.

Rumsfeld: You're like the goddamn generals - hidebound sons of bitches - we're flanking the constitution and heading straight for the elections!

Vice-President: How did we do it in Japan after The Big One?

Staffer: A constitution was drafted and propogated, then elections were held a number of months later, and the constitution ratified. That way, you don't run the risk that the constitution becomes a political football rather than a broad statement of general principles that enjoy virtually unanimous support. If we have elections first, we run the risk that the drafting of the constitution becomes co-opted by a political body, the elected Iraqi congress, and it becomes much more difficult to get a constitution drafted. For instance, it's difficult for any drafter to object to protecting the rights of the minority, but if...

President: Minority?! It's majority rule around here, bub. This is the U.S. of f*ckin- A, buddy. We don't need any of that rights of the minority sh*t in the Iraqi constitution, do we Dick? We...

Vice-President: George, please, I'm trying to have a conversation here.

Staffer: Majority rule, sir. Absolutely, yes sir. I'm just saying that the constitution grants certain rights to the minority that the majority can't limit or abolish. And from a strictly conceptual viewpoint, the primacy of the constitution in large part rests upon its predating, and providing the framework for, the elected government.

President (arching a brow and grinning slyly): Heh, heh, Pre-dating - that's what we use to call it in Bones when we'd bang 'em before taking 'em out for dinner. Hey, did I ever tell you guys why it's called 'Skull and Bones'?

Vice-President: George, please. Look, [Staffer] is right. The governing council finished the constitution this afternoon. The draft won't be circulated to anyone other than the governing council. The governing council will keep the draft strictly confidential.

Bremer: Actually, Mr. Vice President, little progress has been made on...

Vice-President: (shouting) Bremer! (proceeding in avuncular fashion) Paul, I have a report here from Feith's operation that states that the constitution has been drafted, isn't that right Secretary Rumsfeld?

Rumsfeld: That's right, Mr. Vice President. Paul, you're not suggesting that the intel from Feith is faulty, are you?

Bremer: No, of course not, Mr. Secretary.

Vice-President: Good, then it's done. Someone wake up George. Where's Rove? Have him get started on a Dr. Seuss version of this for sleeping beauty here.