Thursday, May 20, 2004

Spain, Mexico, What's the Difference?

The following is a transcript of a telephone conversation between President Bush and Jose Maria Aznar, at the time Prime Minister of Spain, on the evening of March 11, 2004. Only hours before approximately 200 people were killed in a subway bombing in Madrid.

"Mr. President, it's Prime Minister Aznar of Spain on the phone."

Bush: "Hosay, how you doin' fella? Hey, that was some real bullsh*t on them trains there in Manila..."

Aznar: "Madrid, Mr. President..."

"Whatever. Look, you can't let those Baathist bastards get away with this, you gotta..."

"Basque, Mr. President, we believe it may have been Basque separatists."

"Yeah, yeah, Baathists, we got a bunch of them over there in Eye-raq. Nasty f*ckers. Look, Hosay, you gotta hit them bastards hard, and I mean hard. America will stand with ya, Hosay, and with all the Mexican people."

"Mexican people, Mr. President?"

"You pick a country yet?"

"Mr. President?"

"A country, Hosay, a country...damn, follow the bouncin' taco here Hosay."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Mr. President."

"Dammit, Hosay, this is no time for one of those siestas! You gotta pick a country down there and ratf*ck it til you hear a mullah holler!"

"Mr. President, I..."

"How 'bout Syria? I'll tell ya, Syria would spin my sombrero, fella. I'd make those bastards sorry for messin' with the Mexican people. How 'bout Eye-ran? You can't go wrong with Eye-ran, Hosay."

"Mr. President, we are investigating potential ties to Al Qaeda but..."

"Hosay, I got a closet full of Al Qaeda ties. Cheney here can getcha all the Al Qaeda ties you want. You gotta move now, Hosay, clean up the whole enchilada. Ratf*ck those bastards til their turbins pop!"

"Mr. President, our evidence suggests..."

"Evidence?! Look, Hosay, evidence is for pussies. You think I needed evidence to rip a new one for Saddam? F*ck no. But if you gotta have evidence my amigos over in Brittany can getcha all the evidence you need, comprende? Now what about Eye-ran?

"Mr. President, my country doesn't have the military resources that your country has. We couldn't..."

"Goddammit, Hosay, we got plenty of Mexicans over here, we got Mexicans comin' out the ol' sh*t chute. Most of 'em already got switchblades - hell, we'll outfit 'em with some good ol' American firepower and ship 'em right back to ya. They'll be right back 'cross the Rio Grandee in 24 hours."

"Rio Grandee, Mr. President?"

"You gotta start gettin' your people ready for war, Hosay. You got a tax cut ready to go? And one more thing, Hosay, lose the "Maria." Goddamn, you think those Izlams would be crappin' in their camel saddles if my name was George Sally Bush?"

2 Comments:

Blogger Stone said...

Heh.
Nicely done.

2:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some people say that Mexicans and Spaniards are the same, but they're not. Spaniards are white European caucasians, and Mexicans are brown hispanics. I know some Mexicans have white blood from the past. Even there were some Anglos who came to Mexico, not only the Spaniards but other Europeans, even Arabs, Asians, and blacks, but it was mostly Spaniards. Mexicans aren't white. Just because they have some white in them doesn't mean they are white. They were raped by white people along time ago. Spanish was not the original language until the Spaniards came. They stole the language. Today, nearly all Mexicans speak Spanish and few speak Indigenous, also other countries. We may have dark hair and eyes and speak the same language, but that doesn't mean we're the same. In fact, most mexicans have more native and maybe black blood. The Spaniards went and created New Mexico as the better place for them. The terms Hispanic and Latino are not the same. Hispanics are those who are more native and probably black, they’re 'like-Spanish', not the Spanish people of Spain. Some people say that they are but they’re not, and latinos are those who are more European, white. Latin is relating to the languages such as Italian, French, Spanish, Portuguese, and also Romanian or to the people that speak them.

1:32 AM  

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